The Big Picture

Thoughts on style, surroundings, and the importance of choosing carefully

Jul 31, 2026

A few weeks ago, I made a deeply out-of-character acquisition. After seeing my 12-year-old nephew wearing what I can only describe as the platonic ideal of a tie-dye t-shirt—one he’d made himself, no less—I asked if I could buy it from him. Looking back, I’m not sure what came over me. Because if you know me, you understand that tie-dye is not exactly my MO. Alas, he graciously gifted it to me, and into my suitcase it went.

In an effort to microdose this very fun t-shirt into my life, I decided to wear it to bed. And as luck would have it, my four-year-old daughter woke up in the middle of the night, leading to a pretty serious a-ha moment. Somehow, in the pitch-black room, she could make out the tie-dye pattern, and she whispered, “Mommy… what are you wearing?” The utter confusion in her voice made me laugh, and I said, “Your cousin made it! Do you like it?” To which she immediately replied, “No… can you go put on your real pajamas?1”

In that moment it struck me that, at the tender age of four, she is already developing a very strong picture of me in her mind. And my decisions are shaping that picture.

Funny story aside, this is a long winded way to set up a larger idea that’s been occupying my thoughts and influencing my actions the past few months. What we choose to wear, what we decorate our homes with, what the inside of our coat closet looks like- it’s all part of a larger visual story we are telling not just ourselves, but the people around us. And while I ultimately can’t control how my children, family, friends, colleagues, or strangers think of me, I can control what I deem worthy of bringing into my life and what I want my world to look like. If I zoom out, what is my bigger picture? Is it one where I settle and buy things that will get tossed in the next spring cleaning? Or is it one where I very intentionally, almost surgically, bring things into my life that are special, exciting, and what I really, really want? Things I want to pass down to my children, or at the very least, take gentle care of for as long as they last?

I’ve had this quote from Amy Smilovic saved on my phone for years, and I think it will resonate here:

“Even what I wear to bed at night, if it’s not me, I feel off. I think it’s why so many people write to me simply feeling “off” - it’s not a “style” obsessed group here- it’s a group of people that connect very much with what they’re communicating visually. I know this is true because not one person has written to ask me the key trends for fall 23. Facts.

Exactly.

This belief really boils down to this: getting dressed isn’t just about expressing who we are. Over time, it becomes part of how we’re known. And, eventually, how we know ourselves.

I love this. From the Career Archetypes page.

Moving forward, I want to raise the bar for myself a bit. I want my children to know, appreciate, and take good care of what they have. And for that to happen, I need to lead by example. Every item I decide to bring into my life needs to confidently answer yes to my new question of all questions: Is this contributing to the visual world I am building for myself and how I dream of being seen and thought of? All other questions fall away, because when I stop and really think about that one, the answer is crystal clear.

I try to avoid breaking the fourth wall here, but I want to take this opportunity to say I’m confident that if you’ve subscribed to this newsletter, you also care about how you present yourself, how you feel in your clothes as you move throughout your day, and how you build your own visual language at home. And it doesn’t have to be expensive. I cleaned out my bathroom the other day and merchandised my medicine cabinet with items I already had lying around. A candle that had burned down became a place to hide an unsightly bottle of eye drops. A dry brush I had always kept tucked away in my vanity earned a spot because I think it’s beautiful. It really boils down to surrounding yourself with as much beauty as possible and intentionally choosing to paint a picture of your own design.

The story my organized, aesthetically pleasing cabinet is telling me every time I open it? “I have what I need and nothing more, I value my things, and I can create beauty wherever I go.” It’s so much more than what you might see at face value.

I will say that writing this newsletter has accelerated my style journey in more ways than one. The best metaphor I can come up with is that writing about my personal style is a little like walking up an escalator. I’m still doing the work, but it all moves a little faster. The stakes feel higher when I’m recommending what I’m wearing to thousands of people, so I do take everything a bit more seriously than I believe I would otherwise. As a result, I absolutely do not think I’d have the wardrobe, or the insights, I have now if I hadn’t started this two years ago.

More on that in future newsletters, but for now I’ll leave you with this, which is something I believe to my core: Every object we keep, every outfit we repeat, every room we spend time in is another opportunity to make choices that serve us and that work toward a greater vision. Eventually, all those small decisions become the picture people remember us by. And the one we see for ourselves. Let’s make it a beautiful one.

Thank you for reading :)

All my love,

Emily

P.S. If you liked today’s post, may I recommend two others that really resonated with me this week? I’m saving both to revisit over and over.